lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

(Source: kaliskadyami, via timaeusterrortestified)

unic-rn:

edeott:

meowheichou:

joeshmo:

oaf-whisperer:

one-more-day-to-a-new-beginning:

whenyoureolder-youwillunderstand:

purpleflrs:

city-of-sherlock-games:

thatsnowbastard:

remember that time it got so hot in some parts of australia the bottoms of people’s thongs were literally melting to the asphalt and people still ask me why I hate summer

For Americans reading this post, a thong is a flip-flop.
FLIP-FLOP.

Oh

oh

oh

oh

Oh

Oh

oh

oh

Yeap, not what came to mind when I read thong…

(Source: remustonkss, via buildinghomesfromwords)

People always say “well I know who wears the pants in the relationship”. No, I’m not going to say “he wears the pants but I control the zipper”. Marriage isn’t 50/50, Divorce is. Marriage is 100/100. Truth is, no single person wears the pants. We put on the same pair, the same way. One leg at a time. We zip the zipper together. We put one belt on. Why do you think the one pair has two leg holes? We take each step at a time together. And how do we make every decision in our lives? That’s right, you guessed it, together. Marriage doesn’t work if you aren’t equals. We may joke and say “haha I wear the pants in this relationship” but in all actuality, we are one person who shares one pair.

joetheblogger:

fluffybedsock:

sannguine:

gluten-tag:

pretentiousmusician:

peachpup:

this is the all time best post

Wat

I am all about giant dogs

the fact that like half of them are still trying to be lapdogs ~ bless

Giant dogges

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via misspeanuthead)

jeeeplife:

lightsaberarmedmuggle:

lightsaberarmedmuggle:

I’ve done all of the laundry in the house except for this jacket because Stryker is obsessed with it and keeps bringing it into bed with him from the laundry basket. And Hunter was worried Stryker would forget him while he’s gone.

Update: He now brings it to the couch from the bed.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

😭😭😭

(via battle-bitch)

Let’s start a new trend called #dontfreebeiber

My mom was hit by a drunk driver and almost died. I have 0 tolerance for drinking in driving. The military just made new standards that if you drink and drive, you’re immediately chartered out. That’s the way it should have been from the beginning!! My husband said that sometimes people make mistakes. No. Drinking and driving is not a mistake, it is a choice! That person got drunk and knowingly and willingly grabbed their car keys and drove. Putting other people in danger. So no. DONT FREE JUSTIN BEIBER!

dashofirish:

but why are people talking about bieber getting arrested when ed sheeran saved a kitten from being put down 

image

image

then he posted this on instagram 

image

image

and he made a twitter for graham the cat

image

graham posted a photo too

image

image

in conclusion ed sheeran is great and graham is one lucky kitten

(via ameliapondsfaerietale)

My cat is in a bad mood today. He’s laying against me and hisses every time I move….

Studying my life away since I’m not legally required to pass these classes!

Studying my life away since I’m not legally required to pass these classes!

My handsome husband!

My handsome husband!

Dependa-what?

Well, I have my own Active Duty checking account. I’m so used to sharing one with my husband. I’m so used to doing EVERYTHING as/with my husband as a matter of fact. I’ve never had to sign a counseling statement. Well, I signed my own today. Ive always seen his name at the top of military forms. I’ve always just been a joint user on my husbands bank account and now I have my very own. Granted I’ve always had my own account with a regular bank but nothing with one where you have to be active duty to have it.

Today I started doing the future soldier training online and it shows my soon-to-be rank and name. I’ve always been “Smoaks wife.” Or something of that nature. I haven’t even left yet and I already feel something I’ve never felt before - like I’m doing something for myself, by myself.

While doing this training, I’ve realized that there are some plus sides to my husband being active duty. And those are: I blew threw the first 3 trainings on fs.com like it was nothing because my husband always hammered it into my head. Ranks and insignia, military time, and the phonetic alphabet. Now to conquer land navs…. Probably won’t be as knowledgeable…

77 days.

Finally had my future soldier orientation set up. Gotta start practicing calling everybody at the office “SGT” or else it’s 10 push ups per infraction. Already had to do 10 lol. Now to get direct deposit and AKO all set up.

My husband just doesn’t understand my need of coffee before I can do anything first thing in the morning that involves cleaning.